Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Ultimate Spider?

Being an electrician i've seen a lot of spiders and I really don't have a fear of them. Just the other day I was taking the trash out to our garage and saw the grand-daddy spider of em all! It was the biggest spider i'd ever seen in Colorado.

In our household I am the provider, the handyman (though not very handy), and the resident spider killer. So upon seeing the gargantuan arachnoid I did what any man in this position would do. I yelled to my wife, "baby you have to come out here and check this out!"

"It better not be a spider." She hates spiders, and she knows me.

"No, it's cool you have to see this." Reluctantly she came out and looked and even she was impressed as she tossed me a boot; following is the sequence of events that transpired...

Swat #1; MISS, I didn't want to get too close!
Swat #2; Hit! Holy Crap it's still alive; I back up slightly in disbelief!
Swat #3; Final Hit; what the hell is that!?; I inched closer to the crumpled lifeless body...

I kid you not there were at least 1,000 babies scurrying in every direction; I believe I whimpered. My wife screamed!! The next few moments are a slight blur I reached into our chemical cabinet and grabbed wasp spray and bug killing powder. My garage floor became a war zone soon to be covered in powder and coated with wasp spray which combined to make a sort of toxic paste. I know I killed hundreds of these tiny spiders but i'm also convinced hundreds escaped in the chaos.

At any rate, we survived for now; and though we apparently won that battle i'm not so convinced the war is over...


  1. UPDATE: The war Wages on!! I got a text message letting me know that facebook has been updated. My wife apparently upon heading into the garage ran into a spider web. In her words...
    "I did one of those Ninja moves, franticly swatting away the invisible enemy, while making sure it was not on me."

    Oh yes it has begun...

  2. Reading this, my hair now stand on end ... forget about hair gel, I can just re-read this every morning. Yikes! I'm not "afraid" of spiders, and I only kill black widows & brown recluses. But, the one you describe would give me nightmares!

  3. Nope I'm not scared... No way not me...
    Actually it really freaked me out cause I just wasn't expecting it.
    Thanks for stopping by!