Sunday, July 18, 2010

Clueless and Unaccountable

First off to my readers, I apologize for the following rant.. Thanks for reading and please don't hold me accountable!!!

I will be the first to agree with anyone if they told me that we cannot be responsible for offending anyone by sharing our opinions or beliefs. I agree with that statement. We, after all live in a country built on differences. America is a melting pot and when you bring together people of different cultures, backgrounds, races, and beliefs we will have different opinions and beliefs about everything from what is acceptable on our dinner plates to who and how we worship God. This, I think it one of the most beautiful things about America. We not only should strive to learn about other people but to also be OK, and secure enough in who we are to have differing views on life. So having said all that, we should not be offended nor take things personal when someone has an opinion different than ours.

However, I am sick and tired of people using "differing opinions" as an excuse to offend someone without accountability. Just because I lean right and you may prefer the left; should not give anyone the right to be blatantly rude. Let me see if I can paint a picture to share what i'm trying to convey...

Let's just say that I suffer from low self esteem because i'm underweight and couldn't fight myself out of a paper bag. (Not that I struggle with low weight problems and I think I could get out of the bag; though I haven't tried recently, i'm making an assumption here.) Now, my best friend comes over to my place to hang out and brings along his new work out buddy; that looks somewhat like a young Arnold Schwarzenegger. (BTW, I think it's amazing that Schwarzenegger is listed in spell check!) Now, Arnold shakes my hand and senses a slight tremor as his hand engulfs mine. "Nice to meet you wimpy!! HAHAHAHA."

Now my best friend knowing that i'm not already self conscious makes the statement, "uh, that's not ok"; and Arnie just ignores it with a chuckle and moves on with his life. HMMMM...

So you may be saying "gee Nathan you should get over it and be ok with you are and not get so easily offended." And I would say "You are right." However where i'm at in my journey called life hasn't gotten me over my insecurities yet. I'm not saying I won't get over them, but i'm at a different point in life than Arnie. He is obviously ok about his physical stature; but what about his penis size?? What if I called him stubby? How would this story look different? Besides the obvious of me being smashed into the wall and dialing 9-1-1.

Anyway, all i'm saying is as human beings we should use our skills of observation and when we unintentionally offend or hurt someone we should apologize. For the record I have been known to offend people with my sarcastic humor; when I accidentally push someones button I have had to step back and apologize. The only other option would be to justify it away because they are "too sensitive" or "take things too personal"; really neither of those things matter, the only thing that really counts is that I accidentally found someones button and inadvertently pushed it. I'm at a point in my life now where I am not offended by this, I'd rather help fix the button if it's in my power to do so. We don't know where each other is at in our journeys but we shouldn't justify our offensiveness away just because we feel we are superior. Instead if in fact we are further down the road wouldn't it be better to the human race if we helped each other instead of hold each other back? Also as a side note if we are offended by them getting offended isn't that the same thing, only different button?

So in closing I want to make sure i've made my point loud and clear...

When you offend someone by the words you use whether intentional or not, (and you know when you do it,) try and apologize and make it right, immediately; instead of justifying it away due to your superiority complex and/or ignorance. You might just find yourself making a friend instead of alienating one.

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1 comment:

  1. Alright, so i've just completed reading a great post over here...

    And now because of that post i've got to add one thing to this entry; if you have been offended, whether intentionally or not; it's time you forgive the offender.

    Don't hear me wrong here; forgiveness doesn't give permission to others to hurt you; but it does set you free to move on and not stay stuck.

    Wait, I guess i'm not speaking to anyone out there; hmmm maybe i'm simply reminding myself of lessons long forgotten...