Ultimate Spider?

Being an electrician i've seen a lot of spiders and I really don't have a fear of them. Just the other day I was taking the trash out to our garage and saw the grand-daddy spider of em all! It was the biggest spider i'd ever seen in Colorado.

In our household I am the provider, the handyman (though not very handy), and the resident spider killer. So upon seeing the gargantuan arachnoid I did what any man in this position would do. I yelled to my wife, "baby you have to come out here and check this out!"

"It better not be a spider." She hates spiders, and she knows me.

"No, it's cool you have to see this." Reluctantly she came out and looked and even she was impressed as she tossed me a boot; following is the sequence of events that transpired...

Swat #1; MISS, I didn't want to get too close!
Swat #2; Hit! Holy Crap it's still alive; I back up slightly in disbelief!
Swat #3; Final Hit; what the hell is that!?; I inched closer to the crumpled lifeless body...

I kid you not there were at least 1,000 babies scurrying in every direction; I believe I whimpered. My wife screamed!! The next few moments are a slight blur I reached into our chemical cabinet and grabbed wasp spray and bug killing powder. My garage floor became a war zone soon to be covered in powder and coated with wasp spray which combined to make a sort of toxic paste. I know I killed hundreds of these tiny spiders but i'm also convinced hundreds escaped in the chaos.

At any rate, we survived for now; and though we apparently won that battle i'm not so convinced the war is over...

I've Got a Coupon

Let me first state that i've been out of the "dating game" for a very long time so i'm sending this out to all of you single men and women that might be reading this blog for your input...

Imagine it ladies; you go out to a nice dinner with a good looking guy for a first date. The conversation is decent, between the normal awkward silent moments. You think there might be possibility for future meetings. The check is delivered and after reviewing it your date flags the waitress down to hand over his credit card; than as she's walking away he stops her;

"MISS!!, I almost forgot, I've got a COUPON!"

Ladies, I pose the question; Is is alright for a guy to pay for your first date meal with a coupon?

Guys, Is it ok for you to swallow your pride in todays economic state to present a coupon with your payment?

Beyond that let's take it one step more; what if not only a coupon is going to be brandished but what if your date requested you only order from a choice of one or two items on the menu because that is all that the coupon will cover?

How about if it was for a free appetizer?

Does this show class or economic savvy? Or is it just a prequel to how cheap he is and any future relationship will be nickel and dimed to death?

Final thoughts; would it be more acceptable to go "dutch" than to use a coupon? And in the natural progression of a relationship is there ever a time when it's ok to use a coupon to pay for a date?

I Slept Like a Baby!

We've got rain today in Colorado; one of those misty drizzling rains that stick around all day and make everything a little dreary. You have to understand that we are just not used to days like this. We live in Colorado partly because it's the ADD state.

Hey look a shiny object... I'll be right back...

Yes, the entire state of Colorado has a short attention span; haven't you ever heard the saying, "if you don't like the weather in Colorado wait five minutes"? Well it's true; even the weathermen here in Colorado have a very high success average. It's easy because pretty much any day they can say "it'll be partly sunny." And it will be. According to colorado.com/weather we get 300 days of sunshine per year;  interspersed in those days we get wind, rain, snow, cold, heat, and every other form of weather possible. 

Oh yeah, i'm getting off track, need to refocus here. (See, I told you we have ADD).

What was this blog about? Sleeping...

So here it is a dreary morning, i've got my Americano in hand and everyone else on my crew has barely dragged themselves into work half awake because no one knows how to react to the climate change probably caused either by global warming or the oil spill in the gulf. All of us that is except one young man...

Our well slept apprentice made the statement, "Ah, I slept like a baby last night", with an evil wide smile on his face.  Even his "chipperness" was annoying to everyone in the room. Jerry obviously doesn't have kids because if he did he would have never made that most annoying statement known to parents. Of course I knew that he was implying that he slept sound and pleasant and peacefully. But as a parent of two; one of which had colic I know that a baby sleeps sound for oh about... 2 HOURS!! Which in turn means that us, the precious creatures' parents also only sleep in two hour spurts. I don't know about you but to me that isn't peaceful, restful or pleasant. So please from now on if you feel you absolutely must make a statement about having a restful nights sleep and rub it into everyones nose, make sure it's accurate.

How about "I slept like a teenage boy", or a "BP executive". Either one of those can sleep through a day of yard work, test taking and alleged oil spilling; where any other human being would feel slightly guilty to the point of wanting to help in some way!! 

Excuse me but I believe this belongs to you...

"View From the Middle" has seen many different formats and has been resurrected several times using different formats on several different blog hosting sites. This is my next attempt to resurrect and keep alive My View From the Middle. I hope you all enjoy it and ask that if you do to please subscribe, pass on the address and leave comments. Thank you all for stopping by and I look forward to hearing from you...

Living in  a middle class neighborhood I have developed many pet peeves, and to the best of my knowledge everyone shares the same ones. This gets me thinking though that if everyone hates the same thing, why do we still have to deal with it?

There used to be a dog in our neighborhood that every morning the owners, who apparently hated picking up dog poop more than every other dog owner on the block, would let their sweet little mop dog out to roam the neighborhood in search of the perfect toilet. It just so happens that our yard had that sort of Charmin appeal that left our neighborhood wandering dog with that spring clean fresh feeling. Our yard became his habit and though he was a small dog you wouldn't know it by the size of his daily deposits.

One day my wife in perfect Nancy Drewish style caught the little offender in the act and instead of simply chasing him off; as became the tradition she followed him. With brown paper lunch bag in hand my sweet wife picked up the daily poop and proceeded to follow him back to his owners home. She than rang the doorbell handed the paper bag over and simply said...

"I believe this belongs to you!"

Without another word she turned around and came home with a smile on her face!!

Aint' the smell of justice sweet !? Or I guess in some cases...